Vacancy
by Athena2693
Summary: Carl and Lenny are in love. Homer doesn't seem to notice. Slash.


Vacancy 

by _Athena2693_

Rated: Probably PG-13, but I'm being cautious and giving it a soft R

Pairing: Carl/Lenny

A/N: Could be considered a sequal to _Confessions_. The Entire story takes about 8-10 years, a bunch of little scenes in that time.

**Vacancy**

"I can't, I'm working that double shift today for Jim," Carl explained in between bites off his doughnut. "I won't be out until nine."

The skinny man leaning beside him on the refreshment table shrugged and took a sip from his mug of coffee.

"Afterwards, then." Lenny told him. "I don't mind waiting. Just take a shower and change and we'll head out before ten." Carl smiled and reached out a hand to run his fingertips over his coworker's arm, lightly, like a feather. He barely felt it, but the darker man still noticed the shiver run down his spine. Lenny abandoned his leaning position and stood up straight, waiting.

"You guys are going out tonight and you didn't invite me," a deep voice asked incredulously from behind the coke machine. Carl winced and stepped back a bit from his friend.

"Homer, what were you doing back there," Lenny questioned, calmly, though Carl knew him enough to see the stiffness in his body.

"I dropped a quarter, but I got it," the balding man held up the shiny silver piece triumphantly, then shoved it back in his pocket. "Why didn't you two tell me you were going out tonight? When are you gonna pick me up?"

"We're not," Lenny said simply.

"Oh, do you want me to meet you there?" Homer frowned. He took a doughnut from the box, and shoved a second one into his shirt pocket. "Marge told me she doesn't want me drinking and driving anymore, but who cares? Where are we going? To Moe's? Or the bowling alley?"

Lenny looked over at Carl, a bit pleadingly. Carl walked around Homer, who had decided to stand right between the two, and stood very close to the skinny man, so they were almost touching.

"We're going to a restaurant Homer, and you're not coming."

"A restaurant?" Homer scoffed at them, "At ten at night? All the all-you-can-eat places are closed by then. Good luck finding food." The imbecile strolled out of the room, leaving his two colleagues behind him.

.z.

Homer took a deep gulp from his mug and set it back on the bar, looking down at it. He had been trying to finish it off with that last swallow, but there was a bit left in it. And he really had to pee. But if he left it alone, Moe would surely dump the rest. He burped to make room and looked over at his friends. Barney, now alcohol-free, was drinking a soda and eating peanuts. Lenny and Carl seemed to be bickering about something.

"You need to eat more," Carl was arguing, "Look at this." He grabbed his arm, pushed up the sleeve, and wrapped his hand around Lenny's tiny bicep. "I can wrap my fingers around your arm! You're too skinny!"

"Well, look at your pants. I recognize that orange stain on the rear, because it's the same one that's been on there the last three days!" Lenny slapped the spot on Carl's behind that was mostly hidden on the stool, but peeked out a bit on the left cheek.

"I haven't had time to do the laundry, but at least I find time to cook!"

"Cleanliness is next to Godliness and all that shit, food isn't!"

"You don't need to have clean clothes to live!"

"I'll be right back, I gotta drain my frog," Homer excused himself, climbing off his stool.

"His frog," Lenny asked, confused.

"I think he means lizard," Carl said quietly.

"Oh." Homer disappeared, leaving the three goonies and the bartender.

"Why don't you two just move in together," the third goony finally spoke, spreading his now sober wisdom. "You've been going together for five months, and it seems like you've been best friends almost twenty years anyway. That way one of you could cook and the other could do the laundry."

Lenny smiled shyly at Carl, while the bigger of the two looked at Barney shocked by the words. When he glanced at Lenny, his face softened.

"We could," he suggested gently, "If you want to, that is."

"I'd love if you'd move in with me," Lenny grinned.

"Who says you're not moving in with me," Carl challenged.

"Because it'd be easier for you to move than attempt to clean that hog hole."

"Good point." Carl leaned over to the stool next to him and gave Lenny a soft kiss, close-mouthed for the consideration of the other two men in the room. Though Lenny's hands did stray under his love's shirt for a quick nipple grab.

"Why don't you come over tonight and we can start making room for your furniture," Lenny suggested a minute later as Homer took a seat beside Carl on his stool.

"Why are you giving Lenny your furniture," Homer questioned, confusion evident in his voice.

"He's moving in with me," Lenny explained.

"Oh, that's a great idea, now you can afford the deluxe cable package." Homer congratulated enthusiastically. "But what are you gonna do with your game room, Lenny? Unless Carl agrees to share his room with our poker table..."

.z.

Lenny lay completely nude upon his bed, his lover and best friend spooned up against his back behind him. They were both snoring lightly, oblivious to the sunlight washing over their bodies, only covered with a white cotton sheet. Carl pressed closer against him, pulling him back with the arm around his waist. Lenny sighed happily, content. The cheek on his shoulder rubbed the skin, almost purring, and full lips placed a soft kiss on the pale flesh.

"Are you awake," Carl's deep voice broke the morning peace.

"Mmm. Saturday. Sleep."

"Lenny, we agreed on this hike."

"Too early."

"It's almost nine."

"Only four in Europe."

Carl nuzzled his love's throat, throwing a leg over Lenny's hip so he was straddling him. He rolled Lenny over a bit, so he was facing him rather than his shoulder. Lenny's eyes were still closed, though he was obviously awake. Carl leaned down to kiss him gently, while his fingers playfully nudged at Lenny's ribs. The twig of a man chuckled, giving Carl entrance to his mouth. This quieted him with a squeak, which turned into a soft moan of approval. Carl's fingers trailed down the smooth skin of his hips as Lenny's arms went around the man's neck, pulling him down. Carl's lips trailed down to nip at his neck. His lover gasped beneath him, wiggling bare hips happily against his mate's.

And the doorbell sounded throughout the tiny apartment. Carl groaned in frustration and began to sit up.

"Ignore it," Lenny whispered in his ear. "Let them go away. I want you to fuck me into the mattress."

"I'll fuck you into the shower wall later," Carl said with a smirk. "Come on." He stood up and grabbed his lover's robe that was hanging on the closet drawer. The doorbell sounded again. Lenny lay staring at the ceiling for a moment, sweaty and frustrated.

"Well, I thought I might as well hurry up and get it done," Homer's voice came from the kitchen when Lenny entered about twenty seconds later, the sheet wrapped around him toga style. He usually wore the robe but Carl had stolen it earlier and Carl's PJ pants that lay discarded on the bedroom floor fell off his skinny frame.

He fell into the kitchen chair beside the one where Carl usually sat, though currently the other man was cracking some eggs in a bowl by the fridge. The sheet pooled around his waist as he yawned sleepily, scratching his head.

"What're you doing here so early," Lenny questioned their overweight friend who was eating stale doughnuts from a box on the table.

"Marge told me to drop this box off for you, but I wanted to spend my Saturday at the big barbecue downtown, so I thought I might as well get it done with," Homer paraphrased what he had just told Carl. "Hey, there's a red mark on your neck. Do you have spiders around here?"

"No, we just bombed last week. What's in the box?"

Homer shrugged and pointed to the cardboard lying on the counter. Lenny stood up and tore off the duct tape and pried apart the panels.

"Oh, it's those Cher albums she said she got free at that yard sale the other day," he told Carl, taking out the CDs. "Do you have any of them?"

"I'll look in a moment," Carl replied, "The coffee's ready, by the way."

"Thanks hun."

"Cher, huh," Homer considered, "I like her, her voice is very unique and she still looks good after all these years. Maybe you should bring them to the barbecue today?"

"We're going out on a hike today," Carl told him, before setting out the eggs on two plates on the table, and turning to get the toast. "We're hiking up Cupid Mountain and having a picnic with a view."

"Oh, Lisa's always wanting to go hiking. I'll tell her you're going."

"Maybe some other time," Lenny smiled condescendingly, "It's the one year anniversary of us moving in together, and we're bringing Champaign and a blanket. Carl wants to climb the Nature Trail next weekend though..."

"You're right, wouldn't want to take care of a child drunk, would you," Homer, the born hypocrite, agreed. "Give me a call tomorrow, by the way, Lenny; I met this girl at the barber the other day that would be perfect for you."

"Sure Homer..." Lenny trailed off, taking a seat before his plate, and reaching for Carl's hand across the table. "We'll see you Monday."

"Right. Too bad you're missing the barbecue. Actually, that reminds me." Homer took a moment to move his belt loop out one more hole, than waved to his friends, and headed for the apartment's door.

.z.

"What do you two need with a three bedroom house anyway," Homer asked returning from Lenny and Carl's new bathroom, heading to the fridge for another beer. The two both had messy hair, and he dismissed it quickly, figuring he had missed some noogies or something. He didn't have time to celebrate or boo the victory of the Super Bowl game, as he had rushed right for the bathroom after the final scores were announced. Barney and Moe walked into the kitchen, returning from the store where they had went to grab another case of beer, Barney driving as Moe was already wasted, and Barney was breaking his vow only slightly, with watered down beer. Lenny smoothed his hair with a sweaty hand as Carl answered him.

"We received the papers in the mail the other day, our adoption papers were accepted. We get to pick up our own little girl in only a few months."

"I still don't see why two bachelors would want a kid," Homer shrugged, but didn't delve any deeper. He already knew he had some pretty strange friends.

"She's two and a half years old," Lenny said happily, "And she doesn't know much English yet, since she's grown up in China, but they say she's bright enough to learn pretty quickly."

"The adoption center named her Lillith, since Americans would be more eager to adopt her with an English name," Carl continued.

"We can't wait to see her," Lenny finished.

"Which one of you is actually signing the papers anyway?"

"We're both signing them," Lenny told him, "It's a duel adoption. We're taking her as a couple."

"You know, you could both just adopt your own child..."

Lenny looked over at Carl and let out a quiet sigh.

"Want to see the room," Carl waved away Lenny's annoyance, "It took five years for the adoption papers to be accepted, so we had plenty of time to plan it out."

"It's pink and white," Lenny smiled.

Well, Homer wouldn't choose to decorate a room like that, but she was a little girl. They had painted the whole thing like a dawn sky, with a purple sort of sky and pink clouds with a white bed and pink blankets and pink curtains.

"Isn't this lovely," Lenny picked up a small, golden globe and handed it to Homer. He fumbled with it for a moment, trying to figure out what it was, and finally opened the top, to reveal a tiny man and woman dancing in circled. An oddly familiar tune drifted out that he couldn't quite place. "It's _Once Upon a December_, from Anastasia. You know, that cartoon about the Russian princess."

"Yes," Homer agreed. He had no idea what they were talking about.

.z.

_You are formally invited to the marriage ceremony of Carl Carlson and Lenny Leonard._

_Place: 214 Green Springs, Massachusettes, USA._

_Time: April fifteenth in the year two thousand and fifteen. The ceremony will begin at noon; will start accepting guests at ten thirty._

_Afterwards a party will be held at 145 Green Springs, Massachusettes. Hotel rooms will be placed in advance, so please RSVP as soon as possible._

Homer frowned. He had no idea that the two even had girlfriends, and why were they traveling so far for a double wedding?

.z.

"You may now seal your marriage with a kiss." The minister announced.

Homer sat there stunned, as his two best friends wrapped each other in tuxedo clad arms, leaned together, and shared the most passionate kiss he had ever witnessed in his slightly too exciting life.

He thought the brides were taking a bit too long to take their entrance. There was fashionably late, then there was down right rude.

"Hey," he whispered, elbowing Marge, "Do their fiancées know about this?"

"Homer..."


End file.
